I knew this was gonna happen...

Tears running down my cheek and dying with the air breeze...
Is it possible to believe that everything in your life is real?

One day, everything will end. Everything. Including your life.

I don't know why, but I've been afraid of death, since a while ago...

Actually, since my grandma died (Resting in Peace with God) in 2004.

My concept of death is vague, but what I know about is that it's effortless and it's the end of the world, your world. 

Maybe I'm acting a little too dramatic since I'm starting my life, but really, if people say, "Live you life to the fullest" it's for something... I could die right now, I could die tomorrow, or in 100 years...it really freaks me out...

Faith can save me, and open the gates of heaven for me... but how would I know?

Someone asked what do I think I'm gonna go when I die? I said I don't know..

That conversation it turned out to be the most painful and saddest conversation ever...

With the word of God in our lips, tears we're invading my territory, making me unable to speak...

Unable to breath, the pain in my heart is still there, and I need to figure out how am I getting out of this,

how am I gonna go through the right way, how am I gonna believe.

Anything is possible, if you just believe?

Bipolarism

It's pissing me off. Although all texts messages and calls made by someone are only for me, then why even bother to go a visit after a long day of work? After you having a long day full of sadness, happiness, well let's say it was a bipolar day. Why even bother trying to make that someone happy, or at least somehow comfortable if that person is going to ditch you in the end? 

YES! I am Bipolar. I'm sorry but I am. I think that could be my artistic side. 

Right now I could be writing a song about this stupid moment, but I prefer to blog it because I don't wanna think too much about rhythm and rhyme. 

Yes. I turned off my phone, I don't want to get mad, I just wanna relax and lay on my bed because tomorrow will be a great day (i hope so!)

I have this feeling of writing in Spanish but I promised myself not to do so...like that I can get a better vocabulary. Or at least try.

So yeah, I'm tired, I'm mad but excited. And I'm Bipolar.

Toodles.

Weird Chances

Some people grow up knowing that they will find true love... do they? Divorces and Separations are raising up throughout the years.... Many humans have the idea that the prince charming or the beautiful princess comes and falls in love and everything is a fairytale. Is not.

When I was little I always cried when I would see "The Little Mermaid" although she was different from the rest, Eric saw her inner feelings and fell in love, and they got married.

I always thought that I would never find someone who could love me without make up, who could want me with my medium high body fat (for normal average), who could listen to my silly words making no sense, who could love me by being who I am.

I always saw physical features on guys and I would compare myself to them to see if we matched, but nope. Nothing happened. Actually it never happened.

When I least expected, he was standing in front on me awkwardly, weird, smiling, shy, and.... weird. He introduced himself with a smile but he walked away. During that second I crossed his eyes (my heart skipped a beat). I was with my ex-boyfriend and it turned out that from that moment on I was having a "Love at first sight" moment, but it didn't happen...

Later on, weird things happened, I was no longer with my ex-boyfriend, and I decided to give it a chance and talk to a stranger.

It turned out to be the best decision in my life. Up to now. I decided to be with that life-long lover, for the rest of my days.

If you make the best choices, weird chances can come along the way and give out a story in which life is transformed in a fairytale.

<3

Indescribably

Hey. You. Yes! Have you ever felt that when you get up and look in the mirror you see every part of your body, every detail of your skin, and you think you are beautiful? Have you ever felt you look and see someone declined, not wanting to live, and extremely ugly? That was me this morning, there was no way that I could get dressed, or put make up on, and look satisfied with my physical aspect.

Then this girl from the lobby looked at me and I smiled just to be nice and she said, "Do you know your beautiful?" I suddenly changed my facial expression and  asked her, Why?... She said that I was pretty and that I should go out and show it to the world. I was confused and somehow I was glad that she said that... even in my most horrible days something or someone who sees beyond that make up and clothes can make your day indescribably better.